i Loved that car....and now that i think of it it felt more and more like a part of me. it's stupid how attached we humans become to objects like that...but i was very attached. i love how it looked. i love how it drove. i loved the interior space. i didn't love the cd player that would sometimes eat my cds or how the breaks have squealed ever since they were put on a lil while back or even how the trunk would sporadically pop open, not to mention the finicky car alarm. but i loved that car. and now its totalled cuz of some jeep!
so, car shopping today. got one. don't love it. shouldn't you feel excited about a new car? well...a used-new car anyway? I don't. in fact, this whole day has me feeling emotionally raw. it's just a car, for pete's sake!! and the new one is nice...has a nice outside, a decent inside, and appears to run well. but i'm not stoked. in fact, as we were purchasing i was trying to think of when i could trade it in for something else. bad i know. but what am i to do? it was buy a car today or keep paying for a rental which no one can afford. and now even dan's getting out of sorts. i don't need this. i feel like just staying home now and doing nothing but sleep. i don't know what my deal is but i don't need anyone else making things harder for me. i keep thinking i should be happy...its newer than the corolla...has lower miles and better gas mileage...but i'm still in stupid-human-loses-her-car mourning. I don't think i'm ready for a whole other commitment to a car...i drive it and it doesn't feel like home and i wonder if it would protect me like the corolla did. silly silly silly, but i don't care. call me overly emotional, i know that i am. call me stupid for not appreciating a nice car, trust me i want to appreciate it more. but right now, i just want...
